‘Come-to,’ ‘go-to’ or ‘abide-with’ associations

In one association I served, we sold our office building and went completely virtual. 

Only one person per week came to our offices without our prior knowledge of their visit. 

Our location was a major reason. People had to make a conscious effort to go there. It wasn’t a place people just dropped by. The state convention building, which had once sat on the next block, had relocated more than 20 years before.

We held meetings at our offices. People came there for our convenience.

The convenience of staff is not a valid reason for a building. Our purpose is to serve congregations, not for congregations to serve us.

RELATED: Check out more articles on the impact of Baptist associations.

An association ideally functions like a family of congregations collaborating on God’s mission within their context. This reduces the necessity to invite people to a building.

A key reason for selling our building was determining whether we were a “come-to,” a “go-to” or an “abide-with” association. Each perspective has its strengths.

‘Come-to’ associations

“Come-to” associations ask congregations to come to them because the association is an organization they ought to support.

Come to our events, projects and other gatherings so you can get to know other pastors, staff and lay leaders. Being together is important if we effectively nurture our fellowship as a family of congregations.

Come to events to be sure they are well attended. Come to participate in ministry projects so we can boast about our success.

Come to us so we can connect with congregations. Come to us for us to convince you of the best way to do church.

‘Go-to’ associations

“Go-to” associations connect deeply with congregations because the association is the congregations.

They go to congregations to join congregations in worship. They attend and celebrate important events in the life of congregations.

They go to congregations to learn what they are like in their setting. “Go-to” associations want to learn the things they must experience on site with congregations to truly understand them.

Associations go to congregations not only so the pastor and staff know the association but so that lay leaders also do. They need to know you well enough to call on you during times of transition and even conflict.

‘Abide-with’ associations 

“Abide-with” associations proclaim and nurture interdependent relationships among congregations as the family of God to help advance Kingdom growth.

“Abide-with” associations see the relationship with congregations as a spiritual one, a prayerful one and a God-commissioned one. Abiding with congregations is a holy relationship.

Abiding with congregations transcends mere coexistence. It is about a covenant relationship, a sense of deep fellowship known as “koinonia” and our mutual relationship with God’s Holy Spirit.

In “abide-with” associations, congregations know the association cares about them and is not present in their lives just to get something from them.

Creating this depth of relationship is not done through periodic shallow contact. It happens through meaningful, ongoing and ever-deepening Christlike relationships.

Actions to cultivate an ‘abide-with’ association

You may already be engaging in many activities that characterize an “abide-with” association. It’s not always just about what you do but also why and how you do it. Here are a few examples. What would you add?

First, visit congregations regularly for worship and other experiences. Meaningfully worship God with them rather than being a passive observer.

Second, engage with pastors, staff and lay leaders in ways beyond just sending them promotional materials. Call them. Send text messages on Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings to let them know you are praying with them.

Third, visit pastors, staff members and lay leaders both individually and in small groups. Meet for coffee or a meal. Foster connections among clusters of congregational leaders who meet regularly. 

Fourth, encourage congregations to pray for each other, but not just through a published list in a newsletter. Explore deeper, more meaningful ways to get congregations praying for and with one another.

Fifth, challenge congregations to engage in collaborative ministry with three or more congregations. Launch a new congregation together. Support a new vision process for plateaued and declining congregations. Serve as ongoing sponsors of a ministry in the associational context.

Sixth, hold associational meetings at member churches. Use this as an opportunity to learn about them and bless them. Others in your association will become more familiar with the full family of congregations.