Sometimes, youth ministry and parenting feel like two vans passing in the night (or, better yet, passing in the church parking lot).
Pastors wave. Parents smile. We might even coordinate big events and summer calendars together. But most days, it feels like we’re doing the same mission on parallel tracks, hoping we’re headed in the same direction without ever really asking, “Who are we for each other?”
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Here’s the truth: We want the same things — deep discipleship, meaningful connection with our students, and teenagers who know, grow and whole-heartedly follow Jesus.
In a 2025 Lifeway Research study of 1,000 church leaders and 1,000 church-going parents, we found most people from both groups want the same thing.
The desire is shared, but the rhythm is off. We haven’t clearly defined the relationship, and we unintentionally reduce our roles.
Youth pastors often fall into traps like becoming event planners o r operating as glorified cruise directors. Parents feel like they’re just church Uber drivers, hoping for five-star reviews. And so, the shared work of shaping a student’s soul gets lost in translation.
Clarity
Let’s be clear about the kinds of partners we want to be — not just spiritual babysitters, and more than after-school program planners. Don’t let the titles be assumed; let’s clarify who we intend to be.
We want to be:
— Biblical teachers who make the Word accessible
— Curators of meaningful discipleship rhythms for families to flourish
— Encouragers in the trenches with parents of teenagers
— Translators of culture between parents and guardians and teenagers today
— Bridge-builders between the church and the home
But to be this, we need two things: clarity and courage.
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by Zac Workun and originally published by Lifeway Research.
