Here are 10 diseases I see as I consult with unhealthy churches around the country:
1. Community Disconnect Disease. Churches with this disease do not know their community. Often, church members drive to the church building, meet as “church,” and then drive home—without ever taking note of a changing community around them.
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2. Methodological Arthritis. I give credit to my former student, Kevin Minchey, for naming this condition. The name says it all: this church is stuck in doing things the way they’ve always done them.
3. The “Grass is Greener” Syndrome. This syndrome is a malady of leaders who are always looking for the next church leadership position. They establish no roots, and their current congregation is only a stepping-stone to the next place.
4. Professional Wrestling Sickness. I grew up watching professional wrestling (with my Church of God grandma, no less). Professional wrestling is hero vs. villain, right vs. wrong, good vs. evil — but it’s all fake. The church with PWS talks a good game, but hypocrisy is everywhere.
5. Program Nausea. Churches with Program Nausea try a program, toss it soon, and then quickly try the next one. Members of this kind of diseased church are so accustomed to change that they seldom invest in any program.
6. Baby Believer Malady. This congregation has no strategy to grow new believers. The church disciples poorly and often elevates leaders on the basis of attendance rather than spiritual maturity.
7. Theological Self-Deception Ailment. Hear this caveat first: no church with an unbiblical theology can be healthy. TSDA, on the other hand, is characterized by a belief that teaching theology is all that is required to be a healthy church — even if it does not lead to intentional evangelism, disciplemaking, and global missions.
8. “Unrecoverable Void” Syndrome. Church leaders and laypersons alike suffer from this syndrome, characterized by statements like, “This church will close its doors after I’m gone.” Leaders and members with UVS fail to realize that God’s church is bigger than any of us.
9. Talking in Your Sleep Disease. This congregation goes through the motions, but they lack energy. They meet for worship, yet the singing is lifeless. Even the preaching is lackluster, as if the speaker is monotonously only meeting his obligation.
10. Congregational Myopia. The congregation with this condition is nearsighted, focusing on themselves only. They have no vision for the future, and they fail to see that their current direction will likely lead to further disease and decline.
What other diseases come to mind for you?
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was originally published by chucklawless.com.
