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First person: Reasons preacher’s kids strayed

When I’ve asked preacher's kids why they think they struggled, here are some of the reasons they’ve told me...
  • September 6, 2025
  • Chuck Lawless
  • Church Life, Featured, Latest News
(Unsplash photo)

First person: Reasons preacher’s kids strayed

In nearly 30 years of teaching, I’ve talked with a lot of preacher’s kids “PK’s” who struggled at some point in their Christian walk. When I’ve asked them why they think they struggled, here are some of the reasons they’ve told me:

1. They weren’t (and aren’t) perfect. Everybody knows that truth, but some church folks expect PK’s to live differently. All of us struggle because we’re still in the process of growing. We’re all fallen.

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2. Their church told them the way they should live, but nobody personally helped them do so. The PK’s knew what others expected of them, but nobody — including their parents, too often — actually invested in them as mentors and disciplemakers.

3. They weren’t sure how to handle their feelings when their pastor/parent seemed too busy for them. To not speak up left them lonely, but to speak upmade them feel selfish. After all, pastors do stuff for others that really matters.

4. They didn’t tell anybody when their struggles started. They sometimes felt like they had no one to tell. In other cases, they were too embarrassed to tell — or they thought they’d embarrass their family by their honesty.

5. They weren’t sure how to handle temptation when it overwhelmed them. For many of these PK’s, those temptations became most powerful during their teenage or college years. The teachings of their childhood had not adequately prepared them to deal with the onslaught of sinful opportunities that the world offers.

6. They weren’t saved yet. They may have thought they were, but some didn’t learn until years later what salvation really meant.

7. They just wanted to experiment. Sin’s like that sometimes. It’s alluring. It pulls at the heart, even for people raised in a Christian home. Experimentation, though, can lead to trouble — as some of these PK’s learned.

8. They were rebelling against the church. It’s easy to do that, especially if the church “family” creates anguish for your family. Anger and defensiveness can lead to rebellion and sin.

9. They saw too much of the “underbelly” of the church. They saw so much imperfection . . . and anger . . . and defensiveness . . . and hostility that they saw the church as hypocritical.

10. They followed the lead of their church friends. To be frank, I’ve met few PK’s who rebelled because of the influence of their non-believing friends. Much of the time, that influence was church friends who hid their sin.

Here’s the good news, though. Most of the PK’s I’ve talked with came through their struggles and are now walking with God. I pray that’s the case with yours. If not, let us know how we can pray for you and your family.


EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was originally published by Chuck Lawless, professor and dean at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and originally published by chucklawless.com.

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