In today’s digital age of social media and online dating, romance scams are becoming more prevalent. Many who prey on the vulnerable are using online platforms like Facebook to convince users to share money or financial information.
Advocating Against Romance Scammers is a nonprofit organization that aims to help victims of online romance scams. AARS established Oct. 3 as World Romance Scam Prevention Day to help raise awareness.
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According to its website, AARS defines an online romance scam as “a purposeful act of an online criminal with fake romantic intentions toward their prey with a goal of financial gain, oftentimes by creating a fake online identity to lure their target.”
Kathy Waters, AARS co-founder and executive director, said scammers often try to lure victims in with their words and good looks to obtain money, bank account numbers or even pictures they can use to make more fake accounts.
Waters said many victims are older adults who have experienced the loss of a spouse or child. She said most of these scams happen on Facebook or Instagram.
“They usually reach out first,” Waters said. “They’ll usually reach out on a social media platform and then they’ll want to move the conversation to a messenger site like WhatsApp.”
Waters said these messenger sites are often encrypted, meaning the messages can’t be traced by law enforcement if deleted.
“Scammers like to use those because once they delete their [information], they’ll never be found,” Waters said.
Hurting loved ones
Tamara Fetner knows how these scams can hurt loved ones. She said her own mother lost at least $40,000 due to an online romance scam that started on the Words With Friends game through Facebook.
“It put her in a financial bind, and there was no way of recouping the money,” Fetner said. “They just started romancing her and then having her set up different email accounts.”
Fetner said she thinks the scammer targeted her mother since she was elderly and had her Facebook status set to “widow” on Facebook. She said her mother began wearing makeup every day, losing weight and staying glued to her iPad.
“The iPad became so important to her because that’s where she was communicating with him,” Fetner said.
Fetner discovered her mother’s online relationship one day when she saw “I love you” messages pop up on her mother’s iPad. Fetner went through the message history and discovered there had been discussion of wire transfers and cash payments.
Common stories scammers use include living in a foreign country, serving overseas or working on an offshore oil rig.
Waters said these lies provide scammers with believable excuses to ask for money so they can visit their new significant other in America.
“It’s a story they can use in order to get money from them,” Waters said. “The stories can be outlandish, like they were getting on a plane, they ended up getting arrested (and) they’re now in jail.”
Fetner said the scammer told her mother he was working on an offshore, military oil rig and asked her to send money to repair broken equipment. However, many of his messages consisted of broken English, which her mother failed to pick up on due to declining cognitive health.
“I had to put parental protection on her device so that she couldn’t chat with people,” Fetner said.
Lauren Peabody also knows people who have been scammed. She said her co-worker’s mother sent money for a plane ticket to a man she met online so he could come visit her.
“She sent money for the plane ticket and then she was told they got held up in customs and had to pay an extra $5,000 to clear customs and she sent it,” Peabody said. “She waited at the airport, you know, hours upon hours for this person who never showed up.”
Heartstrings
Peabody said scammers tend to create stories that pull at their victim’s heartstrings so they will send money.
“You’re going to feel like you’re being a good steward of your money and your faith,” Peabody said.
Scammers also tend to ask personal questions that could be potential security questions for bank accounts, including a victim’s birthplace or pet’s name.
“It’s important to be very private about all of your vital information,” Peabody said.
Waters said these predators were unable to talk to their victims in the past. However, with the rise of artificial intelligence, scammers can create fake voices and videos that allow them to do so.
“There was no such thing as AI or a way to fix video calls, but nowadays that’s not the case,” Waters said. “They can even make pictures look like they’re talking.”
Many scammers target people in their 60s or above since older adults tend to be less technologically savvy and more trusting. However, Waters said some are aiming for people in their 40s or 50s as a way to steal future retirement money, savings and cryptocurrency.
Grooming victims
Waters said many people in West Africa and Southeast Asia perform what’s known as pig butchering scams, which involve building a slow connection to ensure a victim’s trust before asking them to invest in cryptocurrency.
“They groom the victims with words and trying to build a relationship,” Waters said. “With crypto, the money will go from wallet to wallet to wallet so it’s very hard to track where each dollar is, and so it’s incredibly difficult to be able to retract that money because it’s long gone.”
While fewer than 10% of victims report being conned, Waters said it’s important to report these scams to the proper authorities. She said victims in the United States should report these crimes to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), Federal Trade Commission and FBI.
Waters said it’s important to inform local law enforcement. However, victims should also report the crime to the FBI since it has jurisdiction that allows it to pull cases outside of the U.S. She said a network of cybercriminals in West Africa called the Yahoo Boys uses Facebook to conduct its scams.
“Facebook is very much aware of this but is not taking them down,” Waters said. “There’s not a law in place that’s making them take these fake accounts down or catching the criminal activity that’s going on.”
Waters said many victims claim they suffer more from emotional and psychological abuse due to these scams rather than financial abuse.
“I think that any victim of any online scam — especially a romance scam — should seek a licensed therapist,” Waters said. “It’s very similar to domestic violence.”
Getting help
Victims of online romance scams should never feel ashamed to seek help. Reports can also be made to the Fraud Watch Network Helpline of the American Association of Retired Persons at 877-908-3360.
