For many new empty nesters, it can be a jarring moment. You’re walking down a hallway of your home and an empty room hits you emotionally in ways you didn’t expect.
Maybe it’s those stuffed animals resting on the bed — the ones that didn’t make your daughter’s cut to take with her for that freshman year of college. Maybe it’s the calendar board on that same kid’s desk that has the day she left for college circled with the words “Leaving” written in dry erase marker under the date (the words you don’t plan to erase anytime soon). Maybe some experienced that feeling when they had to cancel a subscription to something they no longer needed because their kid is now living somewhere else. Regardless, this kind of change can be difficult — especially for empty nesters.
“It’s the little things,” said Jimmy Sloop, in his late 50s, whose only daughter recently left home to begin her fall semester of college. He and his wife, Mandy, are now wrapping their brains around being in a new season of life as well. “For me it was the realization that she’s probably not ever going to live here fulltime again. … That snuck up on me.”
New opportunity
The Sloops aren’t alone. The last few weeks have affected a lot of adults in their mid-to-late 40s and 50s who became empty nesters. And it is that group — and season of life — for whom First Baptist Church Hendersonville, Tennessee, where the Sloops are members, is looking for ways to provide support and additional opportunities of service.
While the church has had an active senior adult ministry for years, they recently launched a ministry for “Empty Nest Adults.” The church recognized that an upcoming new generation of senior adults isn’t the same as the ones before them — and they need to act now.
In the last five years, FBC Hendersonville has seen a growing number of senior adults moving into the Nashville area in a way that is being referred to as the “great relocation.”
The number of Sumner County residents in the empty nest and senior adult groups, according to the church’s research, has increased from 32.5% to 36.9% of the population over the past 12 years. This includes those who are retiring and looking for the lifestyle, tax base, cost of living, environment and values that fit their season of life, the church’s ministry plan noted.
Alex York, who leads the new ministry, acknowledged the challenge of reaching this growing group of people. Much of this group, he noted, are already very active in the church and aren’t necessarily looking for “another layer of activity.” Finding the right balance, he noted, is going to take time.
‘Measured response’
York explained, “We chose empty nesters in part to kind of convey when your kids leave the house, we’d love to engage you (and) to come along side you.”
“We’re trying to be measured in what we do,” York noted. “Part of what I’m wrestling with is trying to engage people who are already engaged. And I think that is true of a lot of young empty nesters.”
This new generation of senior adults — and even those in their mid-to-late 40s and early 50s — are busy with jobs and life. They’re physically active and continually looking for ways to serve while deepening relationships, he said.
In response, the new empty nester ministry at FBC Hendersonville is specifically focusing on a vision to:
- Reach empty nesters in their county with the gospel and for church engagement.
- Provide opportunities for social interaction.
- Provide multiple places of service, focusing on missions and ministry within the church, community and globally.
York also acknowledged there will be some aspects of opportunities for older senior adults and younger empty nesters that overlap and appeal to both groups. But over a period of a year to 18 months, the church anticipates members will find the right fit.
For instance, York said he’s hoping some ministry opportunities like a missions trip to Germany in December might attract some of the younger crowd who are looking for ways to get involved that they previously didn’t have time for.
And it’s also keeping in mind, York noted, that most entering this new phase of life have one key similarity: they more than likely haven’t fully accepted they’re, well, in a new phase of life.
“I think one common denominator for empty nesters is they want to deny they’re senior adults (or getting closer than they realize to becoming senior adults),” said York, who is 65.
“People my age will never consider ourselves senior adults. … There is a fair amount of denial.”
And Sloop, who is approaching the 60s, would agree with that. For now, while he acknowledges the emotional and physical aches and pains of getting older, he also enjoys opportunities to interact and engage with fellow believers who are going through the same season of life — while also keeping an eye on opportunities to serve his church and community.
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by Shawn Hendricks, director of content for TAB Media Group.
