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First person: 12 ways my wife partners with me in ministry

I don’t brag enough about my wife. I was a single pastor the first 10 years I served as a pastor, and then God brought Pam into my world.
  • February 4, 2026
  • Chuck Lawless
  • Church Life, First Person, Latest News
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First person: 12 ways my wife partners with me in ministry

I don’t brag enough about my wife. I was a single pastor the first 10 years I served as a pastor, and then God brought Pam into my world. In fact, He used two church administrative assistants who set us up. I enjoyed my years as a single pastor, but now after 34 years of marriage, I can’t imagine ministry without my partner by my side. Pam really is my helpmate.

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1. She models integrity. Pam is who she is, with no pretense. Period. Her faith is real. Her devotions are unfailing. Never have I seen her act differently at home than she does in public. When she challenges my inconsistencies, I know I need to listen.

2. She stands in opposition to my idolatries. Pam’s not consumed by denominational discussions and theological debates. Few people intimidate her, and even fewer “impress’ her. You can live that way when position and power don’t matter to you.

3. She’s the extrovert in our home. If you’ve read my blog posts, you’ll know that I’m highly introverted. Pam’s the one who loves fellowship dinners and birthday parties. I do what ministry requires, but having Pam by my side makes it work.

4. She exudes humble confidence. When we first married, Pam began taking piano lessons — but only because she wanted to. At no level has she ever been concerned about meeting someone else’s expectation for a pastor’s wife. She’s a behind-the-scenes model of hospitality, and she serves with Spirit-led confidence.

5. She loves me without reservation. Regardless of what I face at work, I know I’ll be loved when I get home. Pam knows me inside and out, and she loves me anyway. Knowing that reality gives me courage to take more risks in life; failure will never mean I’m unloved.

6. She prays for me. I travel a lot, and often Pam and I are separated. I look forward to hearing her say to me, though, “I’m praying for you today.” I know she means it, and I know my ministry would be weaker without her continual intercession on my behalf.

7. She reminds me to do the simple but important stuff. I don’t always think about sending that “thank you” card. When friends are sick, seldom do I immediately think, “I wonder if they’ll need meals.” Pam thinks about details and follow up. She answers questions before the folks we’re ministering to have even asked them.

8. She is willing to go anywhere. Pam was the first (and only) member of her extended family to leave their county in Ohio. I doubt she expected when we married that we would serve in multiple roles and spend much time around the world, but she’s always been willing to follow the Lord’s leading. Frankly, her faith stretches mine.

9. She invests in young ladies. Pam may not wish to lead a women’s Bible study, but she’s a great listener who makes young ladies feel at ease. They flock to her simply because she’s genuine and caring.

10. She’s committed to her commitments. For example, she teaches Sunday school to little ones – and she prepares for next week’s lesson days and weeks in advance. Without concern for recognition, she faithfully and fully keeps her commitment.

11. She’s unafraid to speak truth to me. I may not like it when she does, but I need to hear it when she says things like, “That sounded kind of selfish to me” or “You’re letting your anger get the best of you.” I know without question that she speaks for my good.

12. She challenges me to quit worrying about recognition. She would be the last one to want me to write this post, but that’s what I love about her. In a world where too many believers clamor for attention, she shows me that we’re called to serve.

How does your wife partner with you in ministry? Why not write her a similar letter to say thank you? 


EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was originally published by chucklawless.com.

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