Something isn’t adding up. Nearly every Sunday we sing about heaven. We preach the resurrection. We quote Paul’s words that “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” We tell each other that Christ has defeated death.
Then someone dies.
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Walk into many Christian funerals, and you’ll be forgiven for wondering if any of us believe what we just preached.
I’m not suggesting we ignore grief. Jesus stood at Lazarus’ tomb and wept. Loss hurts. A funeral should make room for tears, stories, silence and the ache of saying goodbye.
Grief and hopelessness are different
But grief and hopelessness aren’t the same thing.
In the book Jonathan Bock and I wrote, “The Way Back: How Christians Blew Our Credibility and How We Get It Back” we discovered something interesting happening in the broader culture.
Research commissioned by Co-op Funeralcare in the UK found that 37% of people believe funerals are too somber, and millions say they would prefer a service that celebrates a life well lived.
In the years following the pandemic, conversations about death have become more open, and younger generations are planning ahead in surprising numbers.
Why?
Because somewhere deep inside, people sense that death shouldn’t have the final word — and Christians should be leading that conversation.
If our friend, our spouse, our parent or Uncle Roy trusted Christ, then the defining moment isn’t that they died.
It’s that they arrived.
That truth doesn’t erase the empty chair at the dinner table. It doesn’t soften every tear or shorten the lonely nights ahead. But it does change the story we’re telling.
Pointing to hope
Too often our funerals communicate despair to a watching world when they should point to hope. If we believe Jesus walked out of the grave, then every Christian funeral becomes one more opportunity to declare that the grave doesn’t win.
Perhaps our services should sound more like the gospel we proclaim: a farewell marked by honest tears — and a great party. After all, Uncle Roy just stepped over into eternity. What could be better than that?
With a joyful confidence that, for those in Christ, the best chapter has already begun.
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by Phil Cooke and originally published by philcooke.com.
