Former professional football player Jay Barnett was raised in church, but he met God as an adult in therapy, he said.
The son of a pastor, Barnett, now 42, grew up in Mississippi attending a Baptist church and an Assemblies of God congregation. He preached his first sermon at age 9. By age 12, he had spoken at Christian conferences and youth events across the state.
Barnett still is speaking at churches — and on podcasts and social media — now as a family therapist, mental health expert, former professional athlete and author. The focus of his message has shifted, though, along with his understanding of God.
“God had been presented as this big, bad guy in the sky that is waiting to punish you if you do wrong,” said Barnett, who lives and works in Dallas and travels for speaking gigs.
But in therapy, he connected with the human aspect of Jesus’ nature and realized God, as Jesus, experienced rejection, anxiety and overwhelm, too.
“I think to understand humanity is also to understand God,” he said.
Confront mental health challenges head-on
Part of understanding humanity, requires confronting mental health challenges head-on, particularly in religious contexts, Barnett asserts.
Rather than responding to mental illness by spiritualizing or ignoring it, Barnett said, churches must acknowledge mental illness and emotional struggles as a part of life and not an indictment of one’s faith.
Such an approach would have made all the difference for him as a child, he said. As an adult, he’s working to equip the next generation — especially Black men — proactively to process their emotions and adverse life experiences to experience holistic healing.
Brandon Prince, executive director of Hope For Youth, a Christian organization in Houston working to empower urban youth, met Barnett over a decade ago as a high school junior. He called Barnett “a Paul to my Timothy,” referencing the biblical figures’ mentor-mentee relationship.
“Jay has been God’s voice in the vessel of a former football player,” said Prince, adding Barnett’s message is consistent whether he’s speaking on a podcast or praying with someone over the phone.
Back when he was a teenager, Barnett didn’t have the space to address pain, let alone the language to name it, he explained. His father was often distant, and when his parents divorced, he experienced depression and attempted to cope via self-injury.
His community, which prioritized spiritual healing, didn’t have the tools to connect him with professional help.
A year into his 30s and following a stint playing professional football, Barnett had survived two suicide attempts — first at age 23 after transitioning from the Green Bay Packers to the Arena Football League, and then after his career in the sport ended.
“I just felt lost. And, you know, not being here was the way that I felt that would be better, because I didn’t know anything else besides football,” Barnett said.
When his second suicide attempt was unsuccessful, he confronted his need to get consistent help through therapy.
A nudge from God
In the process, he re-examined what he’d been taught about Christianity, encountering Jesus as God who experienced the fullness of the human condition.
“It allowed me to see God, or to see Jesus, in a very human way — the moments He had when He stepped away, the moment in the garden where He’s literally crying out to God because He’s having a breakdown,” Barnett said.
He observed Jesus, though perfect, encountered a spectrum of emotions, giving Barnett permission to do so Himself.
A few years into consistent therapy, Barnett began to mentor kids living in group homes. Part of his role involved teaching kids facing behavioral challenges how to regulate their emotions.
That knack eventually grew into what Barnett experienced as a nudge from God to become a certified therapist.
In 2019, Barnett graduated from North Central University in Minneapolis with a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling.
“During this time, I remember sitting in prayer, God speaking to me and saying that something was coming, and you’re going to be needed. And I didn’t know what that meant. So, I just listened,” he recalled.
Giving attention to mental health of Black men
On podcasts and on social media, Barnett began calling attention to the mental health needs of Black men, speaking about how to heal from parental wounds, manage depression and deal with rejection.
When his video encouraging men of color to go to therapy gained more than 200,000 views, it inspired him to write the 2021 book, “Just Heal, Bro.” Part testimony and part journal, it aims to help readers process experiences, articulate thoughts around inadequacy, stress and boundaries and outline hopes for their future purpose.
The message resonated, and a few years later, resulted in the “Just Heal, Bro” tour, led by Barnett and a handful of other Black male clinicians and mental health advocates.
They traveled to 36 cities in three years, reaching 18,000 men with their message about prioritizing mental and emotional healing.
In 2023, Barnett was tapped to be Grand Marshall of the American Psychiatric Association’s Moore Equity in Mental Health Initiative, a role that involves speaking at community events and making mental health education more accessible.
Speaking on mental health and spirituality
Although his platform has grown, Barnett has continued to mentor men on a personal level. Barnett also estimates he’s spoken at 20 churches over the last three years on mental health and spirituality, noting congregations can improve their approach to mental health by distinguishing between needs that can be met through counseling and needs that require treatment from trained professionals.
He also called on churches to discuss mental health from the pulpit and make clear that struggling with mental illness does not mean a person’s salvation is in jeopardy.
“I think when we don’t connect the Bible to people’s lives in real time,” he said, “we miss opportunities for people to even think about their mental health.”
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by Kathryn Post and originally published by Religion News Service.
